30 March 2008

What are we looking for?

Ok, I'm in a strange D&M kind of mood today... so this post will probably be a little deeper than usual (or more airy fairy). I am sitting here, alone... feeling slightly depressed wondering why do we, as people put ourselves through this? What are we searching for in this world?

Why is it, we devote so much of our energy, thought and emotion into finding a 'perfect person' to share our lives with? We pass hundreds of people in our daily lives when we go to the shops, work, out to a function... hundreds just pass us by and we don't give them a second look... but we all search for just 1 to come home to, or go out for dinner with. Why?

Is it the reason of our being - after all we could say the purpose of being is to reproduce to pass on our genes to the next generation, for this pattern to continue again and again. Why do us humans however look for one person to do that with... other animals seem quite happy to hump what ever comes next to them, then move on... without ever looking back.

With animals it is simply reproduction... (most) seem to have no emotional connection to whoever it is they are doing. Would a lion mate with a lioness, then care if she was later hit by a car, struck by lightning, or given some nasty std by a sleazy meerkat?

What are we looking for? Is it:

  • Sex on tap
  • Someone to help cook or clean for us
  • Someone to look after us physically and financially - so we can lazily go on with our lives without a care.
If it is these simple things why is it the things I miss most are having someone just there, who you can whinge to if you have had a crappy day, or someone to cuddle up to in bed if it gets cold, or just knowing someone is there and that they are in some way your responsibility to provide for, to care for, like a pet for you to love and look after. Does our emotional investment in them somehow make us feel that once we go, we will have in a tiny way left our mark on the world at that at least one person out there will remember us and think of us until they eventually drop off the perch.

In a mind frame of looking at the above reason as an investment - wouldn't we be better trying to make this impact on the lives of everyone we meet... that way we would be remembered by more... so why is it we choose just one. Just one person to let all our feelings be exposed to, to share such a level of intimacy that they can see you and all your vulnerability as a person. Do we realise that by doing this we are making ourselves so venerable to being hurt so much? Are we that stupid... why is it we choose to trust a person so deeply? Should we?

I think it is human stupidity, or maybe even some desperate desire of hope in thinking that maybe our generation has evolved the perfect being, who is perfect, and trustworthy in every way that they will never hurt us.... but how do we know unless we drop all our defences and give them a chance?

Why is it, we can physically cut ourselves, it hurts for a while, but once we distract ourselves with another task we are fine... but we 'break our hearts' which causes no physical harm to us, and no matter what we do, it keeps eating at us inside. Then, being smart as we are supposed to be, you think we would learn from the pain not to try again... but we do.... we seek to take the gamble again.... will it pay off this time?

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- Henry Louis Mencken

1 comment:

Zoya said...

Have you been watching Oprah again. I told you to stop watching that it makes you all philosophical. Now stop that!

You know we humans are not that evolved we are still very much animals I think the problem or is it a blessing is that we have minds which makes us aware of things. That is the only difference with us and animals.

So we thnk we need this and we need that its also a product of Western thinking. In Europe apparently they do not think this much about relationships and they do not analyse everything. They view things in a simple way. We in the western world have been thinking too much and analysing everything. that is the problem. We are thinking we must have this we have to be doing this. We must be in a relationship. Humans were meant to be together and there is no need to judge this. I think that is where the problem lies thinking, judging and over analysing.

Thsi may be because we are do not have to worry about food and shelter we have it very good here in the western world. We do not have to go out and tend the fields for our supper. We do not have to go to the forest and chop wood just to stay warm and for our stoves. We do not have to travel on foot for miles to feed our animals.

So you see we have it physically easy but emotionally we are all lost because of too much time on our hands.

When we have a good job and enough money in our pockets we dont know what to do next, we realise we are not completly satisfied but dont know why. We start go round in circles with our thinking and end up no-where, kind of like what im, doing now!

We are new at this game called emotions(relationships) n the past people got together for convemience. You couldnt live alone because you couldnt afford it so you had to get married. That goes for both men and women. Now its a choice and we dont know how to choose. We get fussy and demanding of the other person. We must learn to appreciate the imple things in life. If you talk to an older person they will tell you how hings were.

Ask you Grandma Andrew, she will tell you. Thay new how to be happy with their lot.

So I think its because we've got it easy today and we are a bit lost. As we evolve further in a couple hundred years we may get it right.

Well I'm not sure exactly what Ive said but I think I made a point somewhere in there.

Dont think so much and go out and enjoy life.

Dr Phil is always here to confuse you further!